To live a real human life supposes posing some key questions: What is really important for me? What is the meaning of what I do every day? Where do I come from and where do I go? … and at the end what? The answers to those and some other questions define the course of one person’s life. All possible answers have a common denominator. Pascal used to say that human being is meant to be happy and cannot avoid it. That means, that every human being wants, above all, to be happy. However not everyone is happy. Why? Because people do not manage to identify what happiness is about and how do we achieve it. One of the clues to achieve happiness has to be with sexuality. That is what this document is about. Happiness questions sexuality. Sexuality affects the whole self, the whole life of a person, because the human being is sexed. Sexuality is an intrinsic dimension of the human being, we can not do without sexuality.
On the other hand, our own experience shows how the way to live our sexuality affects the whole being and acting. The way to assume sexuality affects the body, the emotions, the most intimate feelings, interpersonal relations, the way of living, the world, in a word the happiness. Sexuality and happiness are intimately related.
Happiness and sexuality
The kind of happiness we want is complete and forever. From this point of view, we can think that it does not exist in this life. That is right, better yet, it exists as a constructive process, as a conquest. Complete and forever happiness only exists after life. It is God. Happiness does not mean pleasure; He is much more than that. If we are honest and we do not deceive ourselves, we must admit that that happiness that we suspect, and that all of us aspire to, is much more than pleasure.
Well that kind of happiness has to be with sexuality, whether we want it or not. Living our sexuality in one way or another is what makes possible or impossible our happiness. There are many ways of living sexuality that provides us with pleasure and immediate satisfaction, but obstruct happiness. On the other hand there are other ways that imply effort and sacrifice, but that make it possible our dream of happiness. To live well our sexuality is a requirement to be happy.
Personal Choice vs. Automatic Tendency
The human being assumes sexuality without thinking about it, without making a decision based on reflection. In fact, society leads the human being, automatically, to live sexuality learning by osmosis the social ways. In abandoning childhood, the human being integrates to his/her life the sexual function the way he/she perceives it around. And what is the implied message we receive regarding sexuality, nowadays? In some cases the message is “enjoy with caution, do whatever you want avoiding pregnancy and AIDS”. That is the mental pattern in the environment. The problem starts when results are not what we expect: AIDS continue to grow and every day there are more young non-desired pregnancies. We can also see that marriage infidelity increases and conjugal stability is weaker.
Solutions from Governments and International Organizations are the same: more condoms, the next day pill and lots of money for people with AIDS. No one wants to face the truth. They forget famous Eisntein phrase: “There is nothing more stupid than expecting a different result when we keep on doing the same old things we have always done”.
A minimum of inteligence and responsibility advises every human being to take sexuality seriously: each individual must make a personal decision. Researches, fashion and the mayority. A well-known perception of this subject of sexuality, as well as in many other subjects, consists on accepting as valid what most people think or do. For others, truth would be in researches or the sexologist opinion.
It is convenient to take into account that researches are easily manipulated, because it depends on the kind of people researched and the design of such researches. The result of researches most frequently reflects the point of view of the designer.
Very independently of this consideration, the truth is that reality discovery does not come through statistics, because then a number of atrocities would be justified. For example, “since many people is dishonest, it would be advisable to be dishonest”. The truth is discovered when the reality is discovered, in this case what human sexuality is and what is it for.
This is the challenge for every person: to think and decide by himself/herself. Knowing and thinking before deciding. To think well demands to ask oneself deep questions: which is the most human way of living sexuality, the most decent for a human being, the one that enables happiness? It is a challenge for intelligence. Afterwards, a human being is obliged to make a decision, to assume a free choice, to commit himself/herself with an attitude. It is a challenge for will. That is the objective of these pages, to provide with judgment elements to form a criterion on our own sexuality and make a more human decision.